In many KidMin settings, siblings of children with special needs find themselves watching from the sidelines – not because they’re unwelcome, but because their unique experiences and needs often go unnoticed. While KidMin strives to create an inclusive environment for every child, these siblings deserve more than a supporting role. They need a KidMin that recognizes their challenges, celebrates their strengths, and helps them move from the sidelines to center court in their own faith journey. Here are ten practical ways to do just that!

1. Acknowledge Their Unique Role

Siblings of children with special needs often take on significant responsibilities at home. Recognize and celebrate their contributions, resilience, and empathy.

• Personal Affirmations: During conversations, highlight their strengths and positive contributions to your KidMin. For example, “I noticed how helpful you were today. That was wonderful!”

• Special Recognition: Occasionally highlight their helpfulness or leadership in front of the group.

2. Establish Clear Role Boundaries

Ensure siblings aren’t expected to take on caregiving roles for their siblings with special needs within the KidMin setting.

• Set Expectations: Clearly communicate that their role is to participate and enjoy, not to care for their sibling.

• Assign Buddies: Provide dedicated buddies to children with special needs so siblings can fully engage without worry.

3. Create Safe Spaces for Sharing

Growing up alongside a sibling with special needs can be rewarding and challenging. Provide opportunities for siblings to express themselves freely.

• Small Groups: Establish discussion groups to connect with peers who understand their unique family dynamics.

• Creative Outlets: Offer journaling, art, or music sessions as forms of expression.

• Quiet Areas: Designate quiet areas where siblings can decompress – separate from areas used by their siblings with special needs.

4. Offer Tailored Programming

Design activities specifically for siblings to ensure they feel valued and appreciated.

• Sibling Sundays: Host events that cater to the unique experiences of siblings, giving them opportunities to bond and have fun.

• Leadership Opportunities: Provide leadership opportunities where they can assist in roles by choice rather than obligation, such as leading a craft or organizing an activity.

5. Build Their Own Community

Siblings often carry emotional and practical responsibilities beyond their years. Help them form connections beyond their family role.

• Game Nights: Plan fun nights where they can be kids, enjoying games, snacks, and fellowship.

• Day Out Events: Organize outings where they can relax and enjoy peer friendships.

6. Educate Your Team

Prepare your ministry team to understand the delicate balance siblings navigate.

• Training: Include sibling dynamics in volunteer orientations and trainings.

• Awareness: Share insights on recognizing when a sibling might need additional support or encouragement.

7. Encourage Peer Support Networks

Connecting siblings with others who understand their experiences can be a powerful source of encouragement.

• Buddy Systems: Pair siblings with peers or older mentors who can offer friendship and guidance. This also allows buddies to be partnered with their siblings.
• Sibling Support Groups: Partner with organizations (SibShops) to create support groups for siblings to share and learn from one another.

8. From Observers to Leaders

Many siblings develop strong leadership and problem-solving skills. Invite them into active ministry roles instead of letting them observe from the sidelines.

• Service Opportunities: Let them help set up activities, assist younger children, or serve as role models during group projects.

• Skill Development: Provide workshops that build on their natural talents, like leading worship or teaching a Bible story.

9. Highlight Their Individuality

Siblings find their identity overshadowed by their family situation. Help them discover their unique gifts and interests.

• One-on-One Attention: Spend time getting to know them individually, asking about their hobbies, dreams, and favorite activities.

• Celebrate Their Achievements: Acknowledge their accomplishments, whether academic, athletic, or personal, during ministry gatherings.

10. Pray With and For Them

Prayer is a powerful way to show love and support for siblings.

• Personal Prayer Requests: Encourage siblings to share their prayer needs and let them know you’re praying for them throughout the week.

• Prayer Partnership: Create prayer partnerships between ministry leaders and siblings. Focus on their specific needs, challenges, and celebrations, including their faith journey, school and friendship challenges, family situations, hopes and dreams, and unique roles.

Moving siblings of children with special needs from the sidelines to full participation isn’t just about inclusion – it’s about recognizing that every child deserves to be the protagonist of their own faith story. When Jesus said, “And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me” (Matthew 18:5), He wasn’t making distinctions between roles or responsibilities. He was inviting us to see and celebrate each child as an individual worthy of love, attention, and spiritual nurture.

By intentionally creating space for these siblings to shine, you’re not just building a more inclusive ministry – you’re showing them that their story matters, their faith journey is essential, and their place in God’s family is uniquely their own.

Stephen “Doc” Hunsley, M.D. is the Executive Director and founder of SOAR Special Needs in Lenexa, Kansas. SOAR (Special Opportunities, Abilities, and Relationships) serves over 1200 individuals with special needs through regular respite events and a Special Needs Day Camp. Doc is currently assisting over 600 churches locally, nationally, and globally in starting a Disability Ministry. Doc also organizes the Wonderfully Made Conference held annually every October in Kansas City. Doc is a USAF veteran and a retired pediatrician while his wife, Kay, continues practicing pediatrics. They are proud parents to three beautiful children: Luke, Mark, and Sarah. The Hunsley’s middle child, Mark, is presently running the halls of heaven. During Mark’s five-year earthly stay, he gave his family the opportunity to learn from and love a child with autism. You can follow SOAR on Facebook or connect with Doc on Twitter: @DocHunsley SOARSpecialNeeds.org.