Last month, as I was traveling to Baltimore from RDU, I witnessed a mother trying to corral her young son as he walked across the cushioned seats in the crowded waiting area. With each step, his little legs lifted high, his hair bounced with excitement, and his giggles filled the air. He was thoroughly enjoying himself, but his mother, well, she was not.

"Get down," she repeated firmly. Yet, instead of complying, he simply moved to the next seat to continue his adventure. Her voice grew more exasperated with each repetition. Heads began to turn. Some passengers looked annoyed, others amused, and still others seemed to silently strategize how they would handle the situation if it were their child.

As I observed this interaction, the children’s ministry leader in me began to process the scene differently. I wondered: Did he understand her directions? Was she communicating in a way he could comprehend? Did he recognize her tone and intent?

Are We Communicating Effectively in Kids Ministry?

In children’s ministry, our mission is not just to tell children about Jesus but to teach them in ways they can understand, internalize, experience, and act upon. Just like the mother at the airport, we can sometimes find ourselves repeating commands, feeling frustrated when kids don’t respond the way we expect. But maybe the issue isn’t their willingness to listen; it’s our approach to communication.

Let’s ask ourselves some key questions:

• Have we communicated our message in a way they can grasp?

• Have we used words and examples that make sense at their developmental level?

• Have we engaged their senses and attention in a meaningful way?

If a child doesn’t understand the message, it doesn’t matter how many times we repeat it or how passionately we deliver it. Children learn best when we combine verbal communication with action and repetition. Here are three foundational principles to keep in mind:

1. Simplify Your Language: Use age-appropriate words and keep your message short and clear. Instead of saying, “Jesus exemplifies unconditional love,” you might say, “Jesus loves us no matter what we do.”

2. Demonstrate What You Mean: Kids are visual learners. Use object lessons, role-playing, or physical actions to illustrate your point. If you're teaching about following God, create a fun obstacle course where they must follow a leader to reach the end.

3. Reinforce the Lesson: Kids need repetition to truly internalize a message. Don’t be afraid to revisit key themes and stories over multiple weeks using different methods like songs, crafts, and games.

Meeting Kids Where They Are

Just like the little boy at the airport wasn’t intentionally disobedient—he was simply caught up in his world of fun—children in our ministry aren’t always intentionally tuning us out. They are often doing what children do best: exploring, playing, and reacting to the environment around them.

Our role as ministry leaders is to meet them in their world. Here are a few tips:

• Get Down on Their Level: Literally kneel down and make eye contact. It builds trust and helps them feel seen and heard.

• Ask Questions: Instead of just giving instructions, ask them questions to gauge their understanding. For example, “What do you think it means to be kind like Jesus?”

• Celebrate Small Wins: Positive reinforcement goes a long way. Celebrate when they listen, engage, or show understanding.

Children don’t just learn from what we say; they learn from what they experience. Are we creating moments where kids can not only hear about God’s love but also feel it through activities, stories, and interactions?

For example, if you're teaching about gratitude, don’t just tell them to be thankful. Have them create a gratitude jar, share something they're thankful for with a friend, or act out a thankfulness skit.

Final Thoughts

As I boarded my flight, I couldn’t stop thinking about that little boy and his mom. She loved him, she wanted to keep him safe, and she was doing her best to communicate her expectations. But somewhere along the way, her message wasn’t landing.

In children’s ministry, we often find ourselves in similar situations. Our hearts are in the right place, our message is true and important, but if it’s not landing, it’s time to pause and adjust our approach.

Every child who enters our ministry is unique—a bundle of energy, curiosity, and potential. They are listening, even when it seems like they aren’t. It’s our job to bridge the gap between our message and their understanding.

So next Sunday, as you prepare to teach, ask yourself:

• Is my message clear and simple?

• Am I engaging their senses and imagination?

• Have I created an experience they’ll remember?

Because just like that mother at the airport, we’re not just trying to get kids to listen. We’re trying to guide them toward something far more important—an encounter with God’s love that they’ll carry with them for a lifetime.

Angela Marks is a passionate children’s ministry leader with 12 years of experience serving in various churches and ministries. She resides in Fayetteville, North Carolina where she has yielded to the call of reaching young people inside and outside the walls of the church.