Children’s ministry is one of the most rewarding callings, but can I keep it real? It can also be one of the loneliest at times. We spend so much time pouring into kids, planning lessons, training volunteers, and making sure everything runs smoothly that we don’t always stop to check on ourselves. And if we’re honest, a lot of us need a refill.

In my hometown, I had the privilege of connecting with a phenomenal kids' ministry director. Our relationship started with me consulting at her church, mentoring her in kids' ministry, and leading some training sessions. But what started as just ministry work quickly turned into something deeper. Over time, we built a real, solid friendship. The funny part? We even share the same name!

A few weeks ago, we went out to lunch. Like most ministry leaders, kids' ministry was the start of our conversation, along with all the little details that come with it. But then the conversation took a turn. We started talking about life—the things on our hearts and the struggles we were facing outside of ministry. That lunch wasn’t just a ministry meeting; it was a moment of real encouragement for both of us. Not a pity party, either. I got to pour into her, but she also poured into me! And that’s when it hit me. As much as I love serving kids, training leaders, and consulting with churches, I need strong friendships of understanding just as much as I need systems, resources, and strategies.

Friendship Brings Strength

One of the best things about having a real friend in ministry is that they get you. They understand what it’s like to constantly think about the ins and outs of Sunday’s service, the ponder of pouring into kids who may or may not be paying attention, the burden of wishing parents would be more involved in their child's spiritual walk and to wrestle with doubts about whether you’re really making an impact.

But even beyond that, friendship brings strength.

It’s having someone who says, “Hey, I see you. I know this is hard. But you’re doing exactly what God has called you to do.” It’s having someone who will pray with you—not because they have to, but because they want to. It’s having someone who reminds you that before you’re a leader, you’re a child of God, one who also needs encouragement, rest, and connection. It’s having someone who will stop what they’re doing, grab your hand, and break out into “Oh, How He Loves” to shift your focus from your struggles to the love of the Father. It’s having someone who will lay down their title and position just to give you a hug and be a friend.

Genuine Connections

One thing I’ve learned is that children’s ministry isn’t just about leading kids; it’s about building relationships with the people God places around us.

That ministry friend you’re serving alongside? God placed them in your life on purpose.

That leader you keep running into at conferences or training events? There’s probably more to that connection than you think. Trust me! I’ve met some of the most amazing people at KidzMatter and other conferences, and now we’re not just ministry connections—we’re great friends.

We’re not just called to do ministry; we’re called to do life together. Through my friendship with this ministry leader, I’ve found renewed encouragement, a fresh perspective, and an even deeper passion for what I do. Our bond has been rooted in discipleship, strengthening both of us in our faith and calling. I’ve come to realize that friendship in ministry isn’t just a bonus—it’s a lifeline.

Who’s Your Ministry Friend?

If you’re reading this and feeling like you’re doing ministry alone, I want to challenge you to do something. Look around. Is there someone you’ve connected with but haven’t really taken the time to build a friendship with? Is there someone who might need you just as much as you need them?

Take the first step. Be in prayer. God always leads us to the people He desires for us to connect with. Invite them to lunch. Call just to check in. Start building the kind of friendship that doesn’t just talk about ministry but talks about life.

Ministry is often challenging, but with a friend by your side, it becomes something beautiful. Just in case you didn’t know—you’ve got a friend in me! And I pray that you find the kind of friendships that make this journey even more meaningful.

​Angela Marks is a passionate children’s ministry leader with 12 years of experience serving in various churches and ministries. She resides in Fayetteville, North Carolina where she has yielded to the call of reaching young people inside and outside the walls of the church.