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How to Build Authentic Community Relationships

Wednesday, October 23, 2024

The KidzMatter Blog/How to Build Authentic Community Relationships

Over 11 years ago, when I took on the role of Kids Director, I didn’t realize how much our community outreach efforts would evolve. What started as typical church events for our members turned into something much more meaningful—a genuine, ongoing relationship with our broader community. The process took time, effort, and intentionality, but it transformed our church’s role and impact. Here’s how you can do it too.

1. Shift Your Perspective: Move Beyond Church-Centered Events

When I started, events like Trunk or Treat (TrT) were mainly geared toward our church family. But something felt off. I attended a conference where the speaker asked a question that stuck with me: “Would your community notice if your church’s doors closed tomorrow?” That question made me realize our outreach wasn’t making the kind of impact it could.

To truly serve our community, I had to shift my perspective from doing events for the church to building relationships with the community. The first step in doing that is reflecting on whether your events primarily serve your congregation or genuinely invite the community in. When I made that shift, everything changed.

2. Start Small but Be Persistent: Build Relationships with Local Government

One of the first steps I took was reaching out to our local government, specifically the mayor’s office. At first, I didn’t get much traction—our mayor wasn’t very engaged at the time. But instead of giving up, I focused on building relationships with others in local government, like the Parks and Recreation department, which was responsible for organizing community events. That led to our first collaboration on Trunk or Treat.

When a new mayor came into office, things changed. He was more interested in partnering with local organizations, and because we had already started building those connections, we were able to deepen our relationship with the city. My advice? Don’t get discouraged if your initial efforts don’t yield immediate results. Keep showing up, offering help, and eventually, the right doors will open.

3. Engage Local Businesses: Find Mutual Benefit

Another key to building community relationships is engaging with local businesses. It began simply by inviting businesses to participate in Trunk or Treat. I went door to door, introducing myself and our church, and invited them to set up booths at the event. The first year, 30 businesses joined us, and the number has grown every year since. It didn’t stop at event participation.

During COVID-19, I hosted luncheons with local business owners and asked them directly, “What do you need? How can we help?”  These simple questions led to organizing a job fair to help local businesses find employees. It wasn’t about what we needed from them—it was about what they needed, and we worked together to meet those needs.

The takeaway here? Find ways to offer value to local businesses beyond event partnerships. Think about how you can meet their needs. That’s how you’ll build lasting, authentic relationships.

4. Build Personal Connections: Engage with Families

One of the most rewarding parts of our community outreach is the personal connections we make with families. At events like Trunk or Treat, we take every opportunity to engage by offering hot chocolate while families wait in line, striking up conversations, and handing out bags with information about other church events like our free Thanksgiving meal.

It’s these small interactions that create meaningful relationships. One year, we worried that turnout would be low due to the pandemic, but over 5,000 people came. We were even worried we’d run out of candy, but somehow, the last bag went to the last kid. It felt like a small miracle and reminded me that when you show up for people, things work out.

The lesson here is simple: focus on personal engagement. Don’t just host an event—use it as an opportunity to connect with people, learn their names, and invite them into deeper community experiences.

5. Don’t Give Up on Schools: Stay Persistent

Connecting with local schools has been one of the toughest challenges. For years, I tried to get our church involved with the school district, offering donations, sponsoring events, and providing snacks for teachers, but we weren’t getting much response. It was frustrating, but I knew persistence would pay off eventually.

After four years of trying, we finally made progress when a new principal took over, and we were able to distribute over 5,000 flyers for our Vacation Bible School (VBS). That year, more kids from non-churched families attended than ever before. It took time, but it was a breakthrough moment.

My advice when working with schools or other more challenging institutions? Don’t give up. Stay consistent, offer help, and keep the lines of communication open. Sometimes it takes years, but persistence eventually pays off.

6. Make Service a Lifestyle, Not Just an Event

The biggest takeaway from my experience is that building authentic community relationships takes time, but it’s worth it. Over the years, we’ve seen families who first came to an outreach event become regular attendees and even active members of our church. Our partnerships with local businesses and the city have grown, and we’ve become a trusted resource in our community.

​But this didn’t happen overnight. It happened because we committed to making service a lifestyle, not just something we do for events. We invested time, showed up consistently, and focused on what the community needed, not just what worked for us.

If you’re looking to build real relationships with your community, start small, be persistent, and always ask, “How can we help?” That simple question opens doors to deeper connections and long-lasting partnerships.

Jodie Slongo is the Kids' Director at Stony Creek Church in Utica, Michigan, and has been involved in Kids Ministry since her teenage years. When she's not serving at church, she enjoys spending time with her family. One of their favorite activities is visiting the charming town of Frankenmuth, where they go about once a month. They especially love exploring Bronner's, the world's largest Christmas store, where Jodie is always on the lookout for unique or cool ornaments.

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