When we think of KidMin leadership, we often focus on leading our direct reports and volunteers. Doing this well is critical for a thriving ministry, but there’s another equally important aspect of leadership: influencing our peers and even our supervisors.

Imagine you’ve joined a church that has never hosted a VBS, but you believe one is needed. There you are, on a Monday, in a conference room with your fellow ministers and lead pastor, sitting around a table. The church calendar is already full, and resources—funds, energy, and facilities—are limited. You know VBS is an “all hands-on deck” ministry event, but how do you navigate the discussion so the team isn’t just tolerating VBS but is genuinely excited about it?

This is where the art of lateral and upline leadership comes into play. To understand these leadership dynamics, it helps to think of three stages of raising a child. In the first stage, a young child has little to no influence on decisions—parents give instructions, and the child follows. In this analogy, the pastor, elders, or other leaders dictate what happens, and the KidMin leader simply complies. Surely, that’s not the best.

The third stage is adulthood, where a child is autonomous and no longer under parental authority. In this analogy, the KidMin leader operates independently, making decisions in a vacuum. Again, surely not the best.

It’s the second stage—adolescence—that we’re after. Here, wise parents involve their teens in decision-making, training them for autonomy. This is the model for effective ministry leadership—discussing and negotiating key decisions to influence decision-makers toward what we believe is right and best.

Four Keys to Effective Lateral and Upline Leadership

Lead with Respect

One of my greatest concerns for KidMin leaders is that many of us are not respected by our peers and are often left without a “seat at the table” in church leadership. However, we must be careful not to make the same mistake. Lateral and upline leadership will never work if we don’t genuinely respect our colleagues and supervisors. Don’t be a doormat but also don’t be distant or arrogant. Be gracious and non-judgmental as you guide the team in a certain direction.

In the VBS example, this might mean walking into that meeting with your first objective being to listen and learn why VBS hasn’t been done before.

Lead with Values

While ministries may differ in what they do and how they do it, their core values should remain consistent. In the VBS example, your colleagues and supervisors likely don’t know as much as you do about VBS. Leading them to support VBS isn’t about starting with logistics—that comes later. Instead, focus on the why behind VBS.

How does VBS align with your church’s mission and philosophy? How does it advance child evangelism and discipleship? Win your team over to the value of VBS, and you’ll win their support for VBS itself.

Lead with Empathy

In ministry, it’s easy to develop tunnel vision, focusing only on our own work. But effective lateral and upline leadership requires seeing things from everyone else’s perspective.

Consider what VBS might cost each of your colleagues. It will likely add to their workload, require their attendance, and prevent them from scheduling their own ministry activities that week. This isn’t about anticipating barriers—it’s about genuinely understanding why your colleagues might not share your enthusiasm.

Lead with Sacrifice

Strive to serve with Christlike humility and a willingness to sacrifice. Not only is this the right thing to do, but it’s also the smart thing to do. Leadership is often a give-and-take, and each time you joyfully sacrifice for a colleague, you build up “leadership equity.” This relational investment can be drawn upon when advocating for something important, like VBS.

Returning to the VBS example, the event will likely require sacrifices from your colleagues. But if you’ve shown a willingness to serve and be flexible in the past, your request will carry much more weight. You may have to compromise on certain details, but that may be exactly what it takes to achieve the bigger goal.

Brian Dembowczyk (Ph.D., Midwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the associate publisher at Thomas Nelson Bibles. He previously served as managing editor of The Gospel Project and in full-time ministry. He is the author of Family Discipleship that Works (IVP), Gospel Centered Kids Ministry (B&H), and Faith Foundations (IVP; releases fall 2025).