As a children’s minister, how many lists do you make in a week? You probably make a list of supplies for the Bible study you are teaching or a list of volunteers you need on a Sunday morning. Another list might include snacks you need to buy for Wednesday nights. Don’t forget about the list for the fall festival, which is quickly approaching. In children’s ministry, the lists can go on and on.

Behind all the Bible studies and activities, the last point on the list is taking care of yourself and the parents in your church. These items on the list are rarely marked off. How can you change that in your children’s ministry? How can you take care of yourself and the parents you are shepherding?

First, let’s talk about you. How can you ensure you are not last on the list?

“Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.”-1 Corinthians 6:19-20

Your body is God’s temple; He dwells within you if you have placed your faith in Him.
You must take care of God’s temple (you) so you can take care of others. It is similar to the airplane breathing mask. If you have flown on an airplane, you have heard the flight attendant tell parents to place their own mask on first before placing it on their children. This sounds strange, but it is the case because the parents might pass out, and then they can’t take care of anyone. Before you burn out in children’s ministry, make sure to practice self-care and soul care.

• Self-care: Write a plan to take care of yourself. Okay, I know this is another list, but make it fun. Write out a plan to work out, join a gym, read, work on a hobby, or enjoy a meal with a friend. These are simple tasks to do, but sometimes you have to write them down. It might be 10-30 minutes here and there at first, but that is better than nothing. For my self-care, I wake up early in the morning and watch a TV show while I am on the treadmill or lifting weights. Working out allows your mind and body to feel renewed.
• Soul care: This should be a priority in your life. We will talk about this with the parents as well, but first, I want to talk about it with you. Make sure you sign up for a children’s ministers’ retreat, sit for 10 minutes with a cup of coffee to talk to God, and open your Bible to dive into God’s Word. You might have to tell your kids, family, or co-workers that you cannot be bothered during your soul care time, and that is fine. Block out that time for yourself. It is not selfish; it is necessary.

Second, let’s talk about the parents. How can you make sure the parents are not last on their list or yours?

• Exemplify what it looks like. If you strive for the parents in your church to have soul care and self-care, then you must show them what it looks like in your personal life.
• Mark out date nights for the parents in your church. Maybe you can do this once or twice a year and plan an easy party for the kids so the parents can go on a much-deserved date. I like to do this towards the beginning of Christmas. The Christmas season is extremely busy, and giving the parents the gift of time without children is a huge blessing.
• Plan a retreat for just the moms or just the dads. This might look like a Saturday brunch or a weekend retreat.
• Have breakfast once a month for the parents to enjoy before Sunday school. You know the parents didn’t eat breakfast before they arrived; offering them breakfast is a small way to show that you care.
• Small treats for parents make them feel loved and appreciated. Giving parents candy, soft drinks, or some other small treat on a Sunday or Wednesday lifts their spirits and helps them want to come to church a little bit more.
• Soul-care. As you help to shepherd your flock, make sure that the parents in your ministry are being fed with God’s Word as well. Too often parents serve and serve, but they are not being fed. Yes, they should serve, but make sure they are not always missing a service.

I hope that these items are first on your list this week. Make self-care and soul care fun for you and the parents!

Julie Donavan has served in children’s and preschool ministry for 16 years and is currently the children’s minister at Hollinger’s Island Baptist Church in Mobile, AL. She holds a bachelor’s degree from Jacksonville State University and a Master of Divinity from Beeson Divinity School. Julie has written discipleship resources and leadership training for Lifeway, The Baptist Paper, and the Alabama State Board of Missions. Called to ministry at age nine, she continues to serve faithfully alongside her husband, Connor, and their two young children.