Leadership isn’t always mountaintop moments and highlight reels. In fact, some of the most important leadership happens when you're in the valley—when you’re hurting, tired, or just barely hanging on. I’ve been there. Maybe you have too. Maybe you’re there right now.

We often hear about servant leadership, visionary leadership, or strategic leadership. But what about painful leadership? What about those seasons when you're called to lead others while you're battling private grief, discouragement, stress, or loss?

One of the hardest things about ministry leadership is that the work doesn’t stop just because you’re in pain. Sunday is still coming. Volunteers still need support. Families still need you to show up.

So what do you do when you're hurting but still have to lead?

1. Be Honest With Yourself

You don’t have to be a superhero. Recognize your pain for what it is. Don’t push it down or pretend it isn’t affecting you. Leaders who ignore their pain usually end up burning out or hurting others unintentionally. It’s okay to say, “I’m not okay right now.” That’s not weakness—it’s wisdom.

2. Lean Into God’s Strength

Paul reminded the Corinthian church that God's power is made perfect in weakness. That means your greatest impact as a leader might come not when you feel strong, but when you depend most fully on Him. Sometimes your biggest victories come on the other side of your biggest struggles. When you have nothing left but Jesus, you find that Jesus is more than enough.

3. Lead With Authenticity

Pain has a way of stripping away pretense. People don’t need perfect leaders—they need real ones. If you're walking through a difficult season, don’t fake joy. Instead, show your team what it looks like to trust God in the storm. Be appropriately vulnerable. Let others see that faith doesn’t always mean having all the answers—but it does mean refusing to give up.

4. Surround Yourself With the Right People

Don’t isolate. Isolation is the enemy’s playground. Find safe people who will pray with you, speak truth into your life, and remind you that you’re not alone. Sometimes leadership means carrying the weight of others—but sometimes it means letting someone carry you for a while.

5. Remember Your “Why”

Pain has a way of making you forget your purpose. In those moments, go back to why you started. Look at the kids in your ministry. Think about the leaders you’ve raised up. Reflect on how God has used you in the past. Your pain is real—but so is your calling. And God hasn’t changed His mind about you.

Friend, if you’re leading through a hard season right now, I want you to know this: You are not forgotten. God sees you. He is near to the brokenhearted. And He’s not finished with you yet.

Keep going. Even when it hurts. Especially when it hurts.

The best leaders are not the ones who never struggle—but the ones who keep leading through it.

And that’s you.

Ryan Frank is a pastor, publisher, and entrepreneur. He and his wife Beth are the founders of KidzMatter.