This week, I sat at my dining room table watching seven of my grandkids play basketball outside. They were laughing, pushing and making their best moves to score a basket. As I watched, I thought about how innocent their lives are. Most things they need and want are provided for them. Then I began to wonder: What do they think? How does their life look to them? Then my mind wandered even farther, what does a child think or how do they see church when they walk in the doors?

Through a Child’s Eyes: Experiencing Church with Wonder and Wiggles

Church on Sunday morning looks different through the eyes of a child. While adults may be focused on the message, the worship, and their spiritual rhythms, children are navigating an entirely different experience, one full of curiosity, confusion, and sometimes, awe.

To a child, walking into a church building can feel like stepping into a strange, sacred world. The ceilings are high, the lights can be bright or dim, and the music? Loud. Sometimes joyful, sometimes somber. They might wonder why people are lifting their hands or closing their eyes during songs. They may giggle when the pastor says something that sounds funny or squirm when the service stretches a bit too long.

What They Think and See

Children are naturally observant. They notice the stained glass, the way people dress, the person handing out donuts or bulletins at the door. They pay attention to the mood in the room, whether people seem happy, serious, or distracted. But they may not always understand why things are happening.

They might wonder:

• Why are we singing these songs?

• What does that story about a big fish have to do with me?

• Why is that man talking for so long? (One of my grandsons always says, “It’s so many words.”)

• Why can’t I run around or talk loudly?

Children often see church through the lens of their relationships. They know who gives them a warm smile. They remember who knelt to speak at their eye level. They are deeply impacted by whether or not they feel seen. More than programs or flashy performances, kids notice love. They feel a connection when they are welcomed, valued, and loved.

What They Feel

Emotions can swing widely for a child at church. Some feel excitement–seeing friends, playing games, or being part of something bigger. Others feel nervous or out of place, especially if the environment is unfamiliar, the expectations are unclear, or the message seems far above their heads.

Even in children's ministry environments, kids are asking silent questions:

• Am I safe here?

• Do the adults like me?

• Do I belong?

• Does God care about me?

When those questions are answered with warmth, patience, and care, a child begins to associate church with love, grace, and belonging. But when they are ignored, scolded, or made to feel like an inconvenience, church can feel more like a place of rules rather than a relationship.

How Can We Serve Children Well?

If we want children to know and love Jesus, we have to show them His love first through us.

Here are a few practical ways we can serve the children in our churches well:

1. Create welcoming spaces just for them.
Environments matter. Bright, fun, clean spaces signal to kids: You're important here. Spaces that are safe and engaging help them relax and open up to learning and connecting.

2. Speak their language.
Whether it’s storytelling, hands-on activities, or music, use age-appropriate ways to teach biblical truths. Remember: a child’s attention is a precious and limited resource. Make each moment count with content that speaks to their stage of life.

3. Train and empower passionate volunteers.
A caring adult who remembers a child’s name, listens to their story, and kneels to tie their shoe can make an eternal impact. These small moments build trust and open doors to deeper faith conversations.

4. Partner with parents.
Families are the primary spiritual influence in a child’s life. The church should come alongside parents with tools, encouragement, and grace—not guilt. Supporting the home strengthens the foundation.

5. Value presence over perfection.
It’s okay if kids are wiggly, noisy, or distracted. That doesn’t mean they aren’t learning or growing. Let’s not expect them to behave like adults. Instead, celebrate their questions, energy, and joy. Let them be children.

Final Thought

Every child who walks through our church doors is watching, listening, and wondering. They’re learning about God not just through Bible stories, but through how they are treated. The goal isn’t to entertain or control them—it’s to love them into the Kingdom.

If we could see church through their eyes, we might remember what it means to have faith like a child. And if we serve them well, we might just help them see Jesus.

Melissa Anderson has had the joy of serving as the Director of Kids Ministries at Bethel Church in Crown Point for 20 years. She is passionate about ministry leadership, shepherding parents, and loving kids. Melissa has been blessed to be married to her husband, Jeff, for 42 years. Together, they have raised three wonderful children, who are now married and have given them eight adorable grandchildren. Her family and ministry are the heart of her life, and she is grateful for the opportunity to pour into both every day.