If you serve in kids ministry, your programming likely includes a strong emphasis on spiritual disciplines… and that's a good thing! We teach children to read their Bibles, pray, worship, memorize Scripture, and participate in the life of the church. These practices help shape faith over time.

However, there is an important distinction we need to keep in mind: spiritual disciplines are not the same as spiritual maturity. Practice is not the same as fruit. It can be tempting to assume that a child who does all the right things is automatically growing spiritually. Sometimes that's true, but not always.

Think about it this way:

Spiritual disciplines are how we stay rooted. The fruit of the Spirit is what grows.

Disciplines are practices we teach children to do. Fruit is the evidence of what the Spirit produces within them. When we confuse the two, we risk evaluating children based on performance rather than transformation.

Children naturally learn through imitation, repetition, and reward. They thrive on encouragement, structure, and clear expectations. That's not a flaw; it's part of God's design. And anyone who has worked with kids knows that a bag of Sour Patch Kids or a Blow Pop can be a surprisingly powerful motivator.

The challenge comes when participation becomes our primary measure of spiritual growth. A child can read their Bible for a prize, pray because they're instructed to, serve because they enjoy recognition, or attend church because it's expected. They may be following rules, pleasing adults, or simply trying to be a "good kid." None of those things are bad, but they are not the same as a growing relationship with Jesus.

When Scripture describes spiritual maturity, it points our attention to fruit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. These qualities are not behaviors we manufacture; they are evidence of the Holy Spirit's work in a person's life.

This doesn't diminish the importance of spiritual disciplines. Disciplines create an environment where growth can occur, but they are not the ultimate measure of maturity. Fruit is.

In ministry, it's easy to look at a child who is engaged, compliant, and consistent and assume they're thriving spiritually. But what if we're only seeing participation? What if they've simply learned the system well? What if they've never fully understood the gospel or responded to it personally?

The distinction between fruit and disciplines is more than a philosophical conversation; it's a discipleship issue. When we equate spiritual habits with spiritual maturity, we may unintentionally assume a child's salvation based on behavior, overlook areas where the Spirit is working, or miss opportunities to clearly share the gospel.

So what do we do?

We don’t stop teaching spiritual disciplines. We teach them better.
Here’s how:

1. Teach the Practice and the Purpose
Don’t just tell kids what to do—tell them why it matters.
Instead of:
“Let’s read our Bibles.”
Try:
“We read the Bible because it helps us know who God is and what He’s done for us.” Even if they don’t fully understand yet, keep saying it. Understanding grows over time.

2. Affirm Fruit, Not Just Participation
Yes, celebrate engagement! …but don’t stop there.
Call out what you see the Spirit producing:
• “That was really kind of you to include them.”
• “I saw a lot of patience in that moment.”
• “That took self-control. I’m proud of you.”
This helps kids connect their faith to real-life transformation.

3. Keep Sharing the Gospel (Even with the “Good Kids”)
The kids who follow directions well are often the easiest to overlook spiritually. Don’t assume they “get it” because they behave.
Every child needs to hear:
• Who Jesus is
• What He has done
• Why they need Him
• How they can respond
Over and over again.

At the end of the day, the goal of kids ministry is not to raise children who are exceptionally good at spiritual habits. Our goal is to disciple children into a genuine, growing relationship with Jesus. We want them to know Him, trust Him, follow Him, and gradually reflect His character in their everyday lives.

A Quick Personal Note
This article comes from a section of a chapter in a book I'm currently writing for parents and ministry leaders about discipling children and helping them discover their God-given purpose.

As I'm writing, I'm looking for a small group of readers who would be willing to read occasional excerpts and offer honest feedback. If that sounds like something you'd enjoy, I'd love to share a few sample chapters with you.

Simply email me at hello@christencclark.org with the word “CHAPTER" and I'll send over a few excerpts when they are ready.

Christen Clark is the host of the Collide Kids Podcast and 7-Minute Devotions for Busy Parents, where she encourages families to grow in faith and discover their God-given purpose. With more than 20 years of ministry experience, she is passionate about equipping parents and church leaders to disciple the next generation. She's currently working on her first book about child discipleship and spiritual gifts. Christen lives in Georgia with her husband, two children, and their dog, Arlo.