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Shaping Worldview Through The Power Of Questions

Friday, June 21, 2024

The KidzMatter Blog/Shaping Worldview Through The Power Of Questions

As parents or leaders of children, an ongoing mental struggle is often a proper understanding between stewardship and ownership.
 
God has entrusted us with the privilege of impacting lives—but lives that ultimately belong to him, yet have, on some level, been loaned to us. We are stewards, but not owners. An easy way to remember this distinction is to think of ourselves as “Shepherds” rather than “Creators.” 
 
From the moment they enter the world, God has already created each child. He or she has a unique set of strengths and weaknesses, bends and desires. As parents and leaders, we don’t get to create the people that these children become. However, we do get to intentionally shepherd and guide them “in the way” that they should go (Proverbs 22:6).
 
Once I begin to view myself as a shepherd, I can more easily view myself as a steward. It relieves me of the ultimate responsibility for making sure this child turns out right. Because I’m not making something new, I’m collaborating with God in shaping someone into the best version of themselves that he’s already created them to be. And shaping their worldview is a huge part of this process. 
 
Worldview is all about discipleship. We’re training children to become lifelong followers of Jesus. We’re shaping our kids’ hearts by training our kids’ minds. But what does it practically look like to shape the worldview of children? 
 
While there are so many things that are shaping children’s worldview including the influence of culture, family and friends, and their “fourth (or digital) world,” there is one thing that I’ve found more effective both at church and in the home than possibly anything else—questions. Questions are often an overlooked tool to help you effectively shepherd children’s hearts and minds for a lifetime of following Jesus. 
 
When my youngest son was about eight years old, we were watching a show on PBS, and the narrator used the common phrase “millions of years ago.” And so I quickly interjected and said, “Son, we know that the earth is not actually millions and millions of years old. In fact, according to the Bible, the earth is only about 6,000-8,000 years old.” 
 
Not only did I think my quick response would make complete sense to my young son, but I was also inwardly proud of myself for setting the record straight so my boy wouldn’t be hoodwinked by “science.”
 
But to my surprise, my two-sentence explanation was insufficient to convince my 8-year-old. In fact, he started interrogating me with some very valid questions:
• “Dad, how do we know that the earth is only that old?”
• “But none of us were around back then to know.”
• “What if the earth is actually older than we think it is?”
 
While my son drilled me with 20 questions, I had to intentionally choose how to respond rather than react in that moment. In my flesh, I wanted to say, “Now, son, I’m the dad, and you’re the puny little 8-year-old. Don’t ask questions; just believe what I say!” But how much help would that have been to my son? And especially at a time when he was seeking real answers through honest questions from a sincere heart? It wouldn’t have been helpful at all.
 
So I chose to listen and respond with grace to each of his questions and answer them as best I could until I satisfied his curiosity. Why? Because I don’t want him to believe in my faith. I want my faith to become his faith. And the only way that will happen is when he is convinced that what the Bible says is actually true, not just because “Dad (or the Bible) says so, and that’s final.”
 
In your home or ministry, there are very few things that shape a child’s worldview as much as ongoing questions and conversations. Children need to be not only allowed but encouraged to do exactly what many of us were discouraged from doing as kids when it came to faith—question it. 
 
Why? Because as one person wisely put it, “A faith that can’t be tested can’t be trusted.”
 
With a shepherd’s mindset of stewarding and guiding, here are five compelling reasons for why and how you should be using the power of questions to shape children’s faith and worldview.
 
1. QUESTIONS REACH NOT JUST THE HEAD BUT THE HEART. 
 
One of our greatest goals and responsibilities is to reach kids’ hearts, not just their heads. This is why questions are so very powerful. Questions connect the head and heart by engaging the child both mentally and emotionally. This is also why questions are more powerful than lectures alone because questions naturally have deeper impact. Kids can easily tune out a lecture. But questions promote two-way engagement. 
 
Studies have shown that “People generally remember 10% of what they read, 20% of what they see, 30% of what they hear, and 50% of what they see and hear.” These statistics are even greater in children. The bottom line is that the more engaged kids are, the more they will learn and remember. Questions are a huge ingredient when it comes to greater engagement. 
 
Question to consider: Am I just filling my child’s head or reaching my child’s heart?
 
2. QUESTIONS PROMOTE SPIRITUAL AND RELATIONAL GROWTH. 
 
One of the best practices we ever implemented in our home was called our “open-door questions policy” (you can ask any question, anytime, about anything). And our kids have taken advantage of it in a good way over the years. This has resulted in tons of questions and conversations that would have never otherwise happened, including conversations about God, friendships, sex, and many social and political issues. 
 
Kids need to feel comfortable coming to us for answers and talking to us about anything and everything, big or small, without fear of judgment or condescension. This is so important in establishing a biblical worldview because a child’s first impression on any matter is often the strongest and longest lasting. And even as they age, by personally asking more questions than just making statements, you spur on more thinking and less defensiveness. 
 
Question to consider: What kind of increased spiritual and relational growth could my home or ministry experience with an open-door questions policy?
 
3. QUESTIONS FACILITATE POSSESSION RATHER THAN JUST PROFESSION.
 
It’s a great danger for kids to be spoon-fed Christianity without ever having to wrestle through what they personally believe. As I mentioned earlier, when my son was asking me questions, I responded the way I did because I didn’t want him to believe in my faith. I want my faith to become his faith. Don’t just allow kids to question their faith, encourage it. Why? Because it allows them to think and explore truth for themselves and come to conclusions that they can personally possess. 
 
Kids can profess their parents’ faith until they are 18 and still walk away from it completely if they fail to ever possess it personally. Because if kids don’t ever have any questions about their faith, it’s quite possible they won’t have any depth about it either. This kind of depth requires that they be allowed and encouraged to ask tough questions. In fact, their worldview depends on it. So don’t just encourage questions, be encouraged by them.
 
Question to consider: Am I both allowing and encouraging my kids to ask tough questions?
 
4. QUESTIONS CREATED LIFELONG CHARACTER AND WORLDVIEW. 
 
Quite possibly, the greatest character trait a person can ever possess is teachability, and questions promote this as a long-term trait. If children can learn to be teachable while they are young, it will benefit them for a lifetime because a teachable person is a constantly growing person. This makes for better employees, spouses, friends, and leaders. By teaching kids how to properly use and welcome questions and feedback, you equip them with a valuable tool.
 
George Barna said it this way, “Every parent teaches what they know and models what they believe. They can only give what they have, and what they have to give reflects their driving beliefs about life and spirituality. Parents are not the only agents of influence on their children’s worldview, but they remain both a primary influence and a gatekeeper to other influences.”
 
Question to consider: Does my life show by example that I am a lifelong learner who is teachable?
 
5. QUESTIONS FOLLOW THE LEADERSHIP EXAMPLE OF JESUS. 
 
Using the power of questions and conversations is something that Jesus did perfectly throughout his earthly ministry. Jesus was the master of shaping worldview through questions. Just look at how he regularly interacted with his disciples, his followers, and even his harshest critics. Rather than immediately giving them answers, he would ask them questions. He engaged them through questions on a level that they weren’t expecting. 
 
But guess what? Jesus always seemed to make his point. In fact, through questions, he often made his point even more emphatically than if he had just given people the answer. We could learn a lot about how to use the power of questions through the example of Jesus.
 
Question to consider: How could you better engage like Jesus with the kids in your life through the power of questions?
 
As you tap into the power of questions to shape the worldview of the children in your life, never forget that you are simply called to be a shepherd, following the Great Shepherd of these precious little sheep. May we ultimately lead them to the living water. 

Andrew Linder is a husband to Charity, the father of four awesome kids, and a kids & family pastor at a thriving church. He is the founder of GodlyParent.com and is passionate about intentional parenting and helping other parents and leaders effectively reach the next generation.​

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