At the 2026 KidzMatter Retreat, Ryan Frank opened our time with a challenge: Do you have a shadow - a place to sit with God, to lead from? He pointed to David, who was ready for every big moment, not because he was the most talented, but because he had a place to dwell.

Psalm 91:1: He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will abide in the shadow of the Almighty.

That question followed me straight into the retreat workshop time. Because here is what I kept thinking: Adults who do not know how to dwell were once kids who were never taught how.

We’re Great at the What. We’re Not Great at the With.
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In Kids Ministry, we are genuinely excellent at teaching content and sending kids home with application. Be kind. Forgive. Read your Bible. Trust God this week. And those things are essential. But somewhere along the way, a lot of our programming accidentally trains kids toward rules, outcomes, information, behavior, and performance.

Skye Jethani’s book With names what we often miss. Many people relate to God as being under Him, over Him, from Him, or for Him. But the invitation of the gospel is life with God. The question worth sitting with is this: are we accidentally teaching kids to do church for God before they ever learn how to simply be with Him?

What If We Gave Them 10 Minutes?
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I am not suggesting you overhaul your entire Sunday. But what if, once in a while, instead of sending kids home with more to do, you helped them practice being with Jesus right there in the room?

Here is a simple, repeatable framework I call the 10-Minute Dwell Flow:

1. Arrive (1 min): Help kids settle physically. A deep breath, hands in lap, eyes closed. Simply acknowledge: God is with us right now.
2. Read (2 min): Read a short Scripture slowly. Psalm 23:1. John 15:4–5. Matthew 11:28. Let it land.
3. Wonder (2 min): Ask one reflective question. What word stood out? What do you notice about God here?
4. Silence (2 min): Brief and guided. “If a thought comes, give it to Jesus. If you feel distracted, just whisper, ‘Jesus, I’m here.’”
5. Respond (2 min): One response option: a whispered prayer, a drawing, one written word, or a hand over the heart.
6. Bless (1 min): A short pastoral word. “Jesus is near. You do not have to rush to be loved. God is with you right now.”

A Few Honest Coaching Notes
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Start small. Do not attempt a 25-minute monastery experience with second graders on week one. That is how you get a mutiny and at least one rebellious cartwheel.

Expect awkwardness. Silence feels clunky at first. That does not mean it failed.

And do not wait for the perfect Sunday. Anything worth doing is worth doing poorly at first. You are building a muscle, not staging a performance.

The Real Win
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Gary Thomas, in Sacred Pathways, reminds us that kids connect with God in different ways - through nature, beauty, action, imagination, thought, symbol, and wonder. If abiding only looks like sitting still and listening, we bless one pathway and ignore the rest. The 10- Minute Dwell Flow gives just enough structure to welcome multiple temperaments while leaving room for something we cannot engineer: the presence of God.

Ryan was right. When we do not lead from the shadow, we run on our own strength. We carry things we were never meant to carry. And so do our kids.

Teach them early. Show them the shadow. Help them find their 10 minutes.

Anthony Hunt is a Kids Pastor, ministry systems nerd, and author of The AI-Powered Church. He serves as the NextGen Pastor at Mercy Road Church in Indiana, where he leads a thriving multi-church team of staff and volunteers across kids, student, and young adult ministries. Known for his humor, practical tools, and deep love for equipping the Church, Anthony brings over a decade of experience to the ever-evolving world of children’s ministry. When he’s not creating training content or testing out new ministry ideas, you’ll find him chasing his six kids, learning to play ice hockey, or building LEGO with his dog underfoot.