Friday, January 17, 2025
I used to think I had to be the funniest, coolest, most over-the-top leader in kids' ministry to get kids to listen to me. I’d try to be the loudest in the room, tell the best jokes, and stay up to date on whatever new trend was taking over. I felt this pressure to be "on" all the time, thinking that if I wasn’t fun enough or exciting enough, the kids would check out.
And honestly? It was exhausting.
One Sunday, after running around like crazy trying to keep a group of kids engaged, I sat down on the floor, completely worn out. No games, no big energy—just me sitting and catching my breath. I expected the kids to lose interest, maybe even get restless without the usual hype.
But instead, something incredible happened.
They talked. Like, really talked.
One boy opened up about how hard school had been that week. Another girl shyly mentioned that she had been feeling lonely, like no one really noticed her. A little guy sat next to me and just leaned against my shoulder, comfortable in the silence.
And that’s when it hit me: these kids didn’t need me to impress them—they just needed me to be real.
Dropping the Act
I realized I had been trying so hard to entertain that I was missing the most important part: connection. Kids don’t need a leader who’s performing for them. They need a leader who’s present with them.
So, I started doing things differently.
I let go of the pressure to always be "on." I stopped worrying about whether I knew every Minecraft reference (because, let’s be real—I still don’t understand half of what they say). I started asking more questions instead of trying to have all the answers.
And you know what? It changed everything.
The kids started opening up more. They started sharing real struggles, real questions, and real moments of faith. They weren’t looking for someone to entertain them—they were looking for someone to walk alongside them.
Being Present Over Being Impressive
I’ve learned that the best way to connect with kids isn’t through the biggest, loudest, or flashiest moments—it’s in the little ones.
• Sitting on the floor with them instead of standing over them.
• Remembering that they had a big soccer game and asking how it went.
• Letting them teach me how to do a TikTok dance (and laughing at how bad I am).
• Sharing my own stories—not just the good ones, but the times I messed up too.
Sometimes, I think we forget how much small things matter. We assume kids will remember the big lessons we teach, but most of the time, what sticks with them is how we made them feel.
What Kids Really Want
At the end of the day, kids don’t need a leader who’s cool. They need a leader who cares.
They need to know they matter—that their questions, their struggles, and their silly stories about their pet lizard actually mean something to you. They need to know that church is a place where they are seen, known, and loved—not just by us, but by Jesus.
That’s what makes the biggest impact. Not the games. Not the funny jokes. Not the best object lessons. It’s the relationships.
So, If You’re Feeling the Pressure...
If you’ve ever felt like you have to be the most exciting person in the room for kids to pay attention, take a deep breath. You don’t have to be perfect. You don’t have to be the funniest, the loudest, or the most creative.
You just have to show up and be real.
And trust me, that’s more than enough.
Sarah Petrokovich is the Children's Ministry Director at River Church in Alton, IL. Married to an amazing man, Joe, they are the proud parents to two wonderful adult children, Halee and Daniel. Sarah has been dedicated to serving in Kids Ministry since her teenage years. Her passion for nurturing children's spiritual growth and creating engaging, faith-filled experiences has been a cornerstone of her ministry work. She also invests in developing other kids' ministry leaders, pouring into them with guidance and support to strengthen their ability to positively impact young lives.
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