Have you ever felt like you were absolutely crushing it in kidmin?

You’re leading teams, loving kids, building systems, solving problems, planning Sundays and events, and doing it all with a smile.

What a feeling! But even in those moments, it’s important not to be on that mountain top alone. It can become easy to feel like we’ve got everything under control and don’t need mentorship when we’re doing well.

Who is making you better right now? Who is sharpening you? If we’re not intentional about continuing to learn and surrounding ourselves with people who stretch us, we can slowly drift into leading on autopilot. Not because we don’t care or we’re “lazy”, but because we’re busy.

One of the fastest ways a leader burns out is when they stop growing. When we’re leading without being sharpened, ministry starts to feel heavier than it’s supposed to.

Kids ministry changes constantly. The needs you’re facing today are not the needs you were facing two years ago. You can’t lead tomorrow’s kids with yesterday’s tools. This is why you must stay teachable and hungry to keep learning and growing.

“As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)

Sharpening is friction. It’s not comfortable, but it’s necessary. If you’re only surrounded by people who always agree with you, you might feel supported, but you won’t grow much. And if you’re only surrounded by people who always need you, you might feel needed, but you’ll eventually feel drained.

Healthy community gives you both encouragement and stretching. It’s people who can celebrate what God is doing through you, and also lovingly say, “Hey, have you thought about it this way?” Or, “I think you’re settling. You’ve got more in you.” That’s iron sharpening iron.

A lot of kids ministry leaders are isolated and don’t even realize it. You can be surrounded by people every week and still feel alone in leadership. Maybe you’re the only kids ministry leader, or the only person who understands everything that truly goes into leading kidmin.

So you carry it, and you figure things out alone. But isolation is not the goal. Even Jesus surrounded Himself with people. He did ministry with a team. If He didn’t lead alone, neither should we.

Paul tells Timothy: “Be diligent to present yourself approved to God… rightly dividing the word of truth.” (2 Timothy 2:15)

And also: “Train yourself to be godly.” (1 Timothy 4:7)

Training takes effort and consistency. It also takes humility. Because the moment we believe we already know enough, we stop receiving. Kids ministry leaders should be some of the most teachable people. We’re shaping the next generation. That’s not the time to get comfortable!

When you get around sharpening people, you leave better. You leave challenged in the best way. And you start realizing you don’t have to reinvent the wheel. You can learn from others who are doing this well.

The Bible backs this up too: “Walk with the wise and become wise.” (Proverbs 13:20)

Who you walk with and listen to matters! So here are some questions for you: Who do you process ministry with? Who do you call when you’re stuck? Who can tell you the truth without crushing you? Who pushes you toward Jesus, not just toward better programs?

This doesn’t have to be complicated. It just has to be intentional.

1.) Get in the room. Conferences, local gatherings, trainings, roundtables, and even online cohorts. You go because you’re staying hungry.
2.) Build a circle, not a crowd. You don’t need 20 people in your business. You need 2–5 trusted leaders who sharpen you.
3.) Find mentors and peers. Mentors help you grow from someone ahead of you. Peers help you grow with someone beside you.
4.) Learn consistently. A chapter a day, a podcast in the car, a training video while folding laundry… it all adds up.
5.) Stay in the Word for you, not just for teaching. If Scripture only becomes something you use to prep lessons, you’ll dry up. Let the Word disciple you first!

If you’re feeling stuck, you might not need a new strategy. You might need sharpening. You need community. Community keeps you steady. And sharpening keeps you effective.

So take the next step! Join the group text. Go to the training. Sign up for the conference. Message the leader you respect and ask if you can grab coffee with them.

Start small and stay hungry. And watch what God builds through your consistency.

Alysia Gonzales serves as the Director of Family Ministries at Harvest Church, providing oversight and leadership for kids ministry across each campus through leader development, training, and Sunday service support. Her heart is to empower kids’ ministry leaders to lead with purpose and joy, and to raise up the next generation to impact the church and the world with the power and love of Jesus.