Have you found yourself perplexed by the youngest generation? Their lack of drive, their inability to complete a task—oh, and if you correct them, you may witness a complete breakdown. Understanding how these children developed this behavior will greatly enhance your knowledge of them. You will not be able to change their behavior, but hopefully, having empathy for why they are like this will make your Sunday hour with them more manageable.

Generation after generation has always sought to provide their children with a better life than they had. If you think about it, you likely share this desire. However, the cumulative effect of multiple generations striving to improve conditions for their children has unintentionally led to unexpected outcomes.

The children of WWII-era parents grew up under strict discipline. It was not uncommon for parents of this generation to be viewed as authoritarian. Children were expected to submit to their parents' authority, and their ideas and emotions were often disregarded. Diana Baumrind, Ph.D., a clinical psychologist, was the first to study parenting styles around 1960. She described authoritarian parents as rigid, harsh, and demanding. While abusive parents also fall into this category, it is important to note that not all authoritarian parents were abusive—though their children may have perceived them as such.

The next generation, often associated with the Hippie Generation, saw parents adopting a more supportive approach. Children's ideas and emotions became more relevant, and parents encouraged them to ask questions. It was common for children of this era to be more involved in adult conversations than in previous generations, leading to a more permissive parenting style. This was the beginning of parental “overreach” into their children’s lives.

This shift happened gradually. The Hippie Generation was characterized by peace, love, and music. Children were encouraged to "follow their own path." This was also when parents began challenging teachers. In previous generations, parents worked with teachers to ensure their children were not disruptive. However, teachers now found parents defending their children's choices, such as preferring to read or draw instead of participating in sports. While not all parents were permissive, this generation laid the foundation for the rise of permissive parenting.

The Hippie Generation later became known as the Baby Boomers, a vast generation with multiple parenting styles. Among them, a lesser-seen but emerging approach was neglectful parenting. It can be speculated that the era of "free love" and younger pregnancies contributed to this group. These parents were often uninvolved or absent in their children's lives, possibly because they were still growing up themselves. Some may have also witnessed abuse in their own upbringing. Combined with rising divorce rates, this environment inadvertently paved the way for the rise of the Helicopter Parent.

Helicopter parenting was characterized by extreme overprotection. In its early stages, these parents micromanaged their children’s schedules, essentially overseeing every aspect of their lives. It was not uncommon for them to "shadow" their children wherever they went. The consequences of this approach often led to anxiety and depression. These children developed an increased sense of entitlement and struggled with low self-esteem, as well as difficulty coping with unexpected challenges or setbacks. Because their parents made most decisions for them, they never had the opportunity to experience failure or learn from mistakes—one of the most fundamental skills for success.

These children grew up and became adults who formed the next evolution of parenting: Snowplow Parenting. This parenting style seeks to eliminate any obstacles in a child’s path. Snowplow parents refuse to allow their children to experience failure. Whether it’s school grades, playground conflicts, or assignments, these parents bulldoze through any challenge to ensure their child’s success. This hyper-involvement extends through grade school, middle school, high school, and even college. The consequences? These children often lack conflict resolution skills, struggle with self-confidence when away from their parents, develop a stronger sense of entitlement, and have little ability to cope with setbacks.

Now, you can see how this current phase of parenting is magnifying entitlement and diminishing social skills in children. With each generation becoming more permissive than the last, rules are often unenforced. When these children encounter failure, their reactions can be extreme—resulting in emotional outbursts or overreactions.

Hopefully, this insight helps you understand why children today behave the way they do. Instead of trying to shield them from failure, meet them where they are. Extend grace. They need your empathy.

Phil Parks is a pastoral counselor, author, former adjunct faculty member at Cuyahoga Community College, and guest speaker for both Wright State University and the University of Dayton. He recently founded Parenting for Adulthood. His passion is helping people grow in business, life, and spirituality. You can find his articles at www.parentingforadulthood.org.