Friday, October 04, 2024
Every year at the KidzMatter Conference, I have a recurring conversation that encourages me. We’ll return to that conversation soon, but for now, let me provide some context.
I work with an organization called Family Time Training (famtime.com), which specializes in helping parents disciple their kids at home. I believe that passages like Deuteronomy 6:4-9, Psalm 78:1-8, Ephesians 6:4, and many more teach that God has called parents to be the primary disciple-makers in their kids’ lives. However, I also believe that parents are not the only disciple-makers of their kids. Here’s a statement that I share at every training event Family Time is invited to lead:
Disciple your children as if no one else will,
knowing that you’re not designed to do it alone.
I am very local-church-centric, and because of my love for local congregations, church staff members are always essential collaborators in the mission to train parents. Luckily, I get to meet many of these wonderful people at KidzMatter every year.
Now, back to that conversation. In the exhibit hall, thousands of people walk through to check out all the helpful resources. After walking by my booth and hearing more about what our organization offers, most children’s leaders passionately resonate with the idea of equipping, encouraging, and launching parents to take ownership of the discipleship of their children. Honestly, children’s ministry workers are some of the most passionate family ministry advocates on the planet! However, this passionate resonance with our ministry’s vision and mission often turns into frustration for children’s pastors mid-conversation. They get frustrated because they believe in God’s design for home discipleship, but the parents in their churches seem disinterested or unengaged. I can feel a sense of desperation from these leaders as they describe their passion that is not being reciprocated by the moms and dads in their churches.
I don’t love these conversations because church staff members are frustrated. I love them because of the hope I have for these parents. I want to provide some hope through two steps that may turn frustration with parents into faith-driven action:
1. Pray for patience and show mercy. When God provides families for you to work with, He doesn’t ask for our input on who they will be. I want you to take a second and think of a parent connected to your ministry that you typically have a hard time enjoying. Silently pray for that person by name. Matthew 5:44 is a great place to start. While you may not publicly refer to that person as an enemy, privately, they may fit that category. God is ready to change your heart toward them. Only He knows what is causing that person to treat you badly or reject invitations to jump into the discipleship journey of their own children. Asking for divinely provided patience toward someone opens the door to repeatedly extending mercy to a difficult parent. The easiest way to extend mercy and grace to a tough parent is to read Ephesians 1-3 and be reminded of what you were saved from and the identity you were provided in Christ. Those who have been forgiven much, forgive much.
2. Assume nothing and provide everything. Years ago, I made a new rule for myself. I decided that when teaching the Bible and training parents, I would never assume biblical literacy, salvation, discipleship, or exposure to a Christian worldview. Without patronizing the audience, I decided to consistently share the truth of God’s design for the home with the same excitement as when I first learned it myself. This also freed me from placing unfair expectations on those in attendance. Sometimes, it is too easy to get frustrated with church families because “they should know better by now.” Unfortunately, that’s generally not how this works. Parenting, family, home discipleship, and sanctification are almost always messy and rarely as smooth as we would hope. When I stop assuming things about the people in my church, I am setting the table for a new start—a clean slate for parents with nothing being lorded over them! This desire to meet parents where they are, regardless of how you found them, also drives my commitment to provide training and resources that are useful to parents willing to take a first step in home discipleship. Parents will typically match your excitement if they know that what you’re advocating for can work!
I’m all for providing easy wins for parents and families. I’m also all for children’s ministry leaders who refuse to give up on the parents God has given them to serve. You cannot do this in your own strength, friends, and thank goodness you don’t have to.
Frank Trimble (D.Ed.Min, Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary) is the Executive Director of Family Time Training in Littleton, CO (famtime.com) and a Co-Youth Director at Calvary Englewood (englewood.thecalvary.org). His desire is to see home discipleship become the norm, rather than the exception, in the lives of believers all over the world. His primary ministry is to his wife, Kristin, and their two wonderful daughters, Ava and Olivia.
Founders of KidzMatter
Welcome to the KidzMatter Blog. Here you will find a growing library of content from the kidmin community. Need help recruiting nursery workers? Looking for budget hacks? Want the inside scoop on everything KidzMatter? You're at the right spot.
Membership with KidzMatter PRO strengthens your skills and links you with a thriving community committed to empowering kidmin leaders like you.
Membership with KidzMatter PRO strengthens your skills and links you with a thriving community committed to empowering kidmin leaders like you.
KidzMatter Ministries Inc.
All Rights Reserved © 2024.
432 East Val Lane, Marion, Indiana 46952.