As a parent of a child with ADHD, you’re likely familiar with the daily challenges— impulsivity, lack of focus, and boundless energy. While these symptoms are common, addressing them in a way that brings real, lasting change can feel overwhelming. However, when we shift our focus from simply managing behaviors to transforming the heart, we begin to see remarkable growth in our children.

ADHD may be a biological issue, but that doesn’t mean we can’t approach it through the lens of character development. A heart-based approach allows parents to nurture their child’s spiritual growth, alongside addressing the biological challenges. Let’s explore how you can integrate this mindset into your parenting.

ADHD and the Heart: Beyond Behavior Management
ADHD is often thought of as a "brain issue," and while that’s true, it’s important to remember that behavior stems from the heart (Proverbs 4:23). The Bible teaches us that the heart is the wellspring of life, and even in the face of biological challenges, we can help our children grow in character.

Medication may play a role in easing some of the difficulties children with ADHD face, such as improving focus or reducing impulsivity. But true, lasting change comes when we help them develop heart-based skills that empower them to manage their challenges. By focusing on the heart, you teach your child to regulate their behavior not just because they have to, but because it aligns with their growing sense of responsibility, love for others, and desire to honor God.

Practical Heart-Based Strategies for ADHD
Here are a few key tools you can use to guide your child’s heart:

1. Increase a Sense of Obligation One of the most powerful ways to help a child with ADHD is to increase their sense of obligation. Kids with ADHD often struggle with impulsivity because their urges seem stronger than their responsibilities. Teaching obligation—"I need to"—helps them prioritize tasks over desires.

You can start by framing chores and responsibilities as obligations that need to be completed. For example, saying “You need to finish your homework before playing video games” helps your child focus on duty over desire. This mirrors how adults must often balance things we want to do with things we need to do (Romans 13:7).

2. Use Small Wins to Build Confidence ADHD often causes children to feel defeated because they struggle with completing tasks or staying focused. By breaking down larger tasks into smaller, manageable pieces, you can help your child experience success more often. This builds confidence and strengthens their heart to persevere (Philippians 4:13).

For example, instead of asking your child to clean their entire room, start with something smaller, like putting toys away. Once they complete that, celebrate the success before moving on to the next task. As they see they can accomplish small things, their confidence grows, and they’re more motivated to tackle bigger challenges.

3. Practice the Instruction Routine Children with ADHD often have difficulty following instructions, especially if distracted. Implementing an “instruction routine” can help them build the character quality of diligence. The goal is to practice responding to your instructions quickly and thoroughly.

Start with a simple exercise: call your child by name, have them come to you, and give an instruction to do a small task (like moving their shoes to their room) using the words “You need to…” to reinforce conscience development. Do this repeatedly throughout the day, even if the tasks are small. It’s not about what they’re doing—it’s about creating a habit of following instructions immediately. This routine helps them focus, practice diligence, and develop the self-discipline needed to succeed in other areas of life.

It’s important to remind yourself that heart change doesn’t happen overnight. Just as we all need grace, your child will need time and patience to grow in these areas. Be quick to celebrate their progress, no matter how small, and gently guide them when they fall short. God is working in their heart through your efforts, even when it doesn’t seem obvious.

A Heart-Based Approach Works in Every Area of Life
As you help your child with ADHD grow in character, you’ll notice that these heart-based strategies apply not just to their struggles with attention, but to every area of their life. When we teach our children to focus on their hearts—whether by increasing obligation, learning to persevere, or following instructions—we’re preparing them to handle all of life’s challenges with maturity and grace.

God is concerned with the heart, and as you lead your child through their ADHD challenges, you’re doing more than managing behavior—you’re guiding them toward Christlikeness. Remember Philippians 1:6: “He who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion.” Trust that the Lord is at work in your child’s heart, and take joy in the opportunity to shepherd them through their ADHD with wisdom and love.

Learn More: Check out Dr. Scott Turansky’s short course: Navigating Parenting’s Toughest Challenges at BiblicalParenting.org.

Dr. Scott Turansky heads up the National Center for Biblical Parenting and works with parents every week. He’s written 15 books on parenting and is a professor at Concordia University where he teaches the parenting classes to Masters Level Students. He has also trained over 500 Biblical Parenting Coaches. Maybe you’d like to become one?