A few years ago, we started noticing something we couldn’t ignore: our 4th and 5th-graders were done pretending they were still little kids.

During our Wednesday night large-group times with the younger ages, they were starting to check out. Not because they were difficult. Not because they didn’t care. But because they were changing. Preteens live in that in-between space where they still want to have fun but also want to be challenged. They want room to ask questions, make connections, and feel like what they’re learning actually belongs to them.

So we made a change.

We started a preteen ministry just for our 4th and 5th-graders, and not long after that, we brought back something we had done at a previous church: an overnight retreat.

After coming home from another one of those retreats, I can say it again without hesitation: it is one of the best things we do.

Yes, I came home tired. Very tired. The kind of tired that comes from too little sleep, too much movement, and a steady diet of pizza, candy, and preteen energy. But I also came home full. Grateful. Amazed. And reminded that this age group is capable of far more than we sometimes expect.

This year’s retreat gave us the chance to review what we had been learning since January, introduce some new teaching, and challenge students to think more deeply. We asked them to connect the Old Testament to the New Testament. We asked them not just to repeat Bible facts, but to wrestle with what those truths actually mean. We invited them to think about faith, communion, Scripture, and Jesus in ways that stretched them.

And they rose to it.

Of course, the retreat also included everything you would expect from a room full of preteens spending the night together. There were games, competitions, snacks, inside jokes, too much candy, and definitely not enough sleep. There was laughter everywhere. But woven through all that fun were the moments that mattered most: honest conversations, thoughtful questions, growing friendships, and those flashes of understanding when something suddenly clicks.

That’s what keeps me coming back.

The moments that stay with me are not always the ones we planned. Sometimes it’s watching a student help someone else wrestle an air mattress back into its bag. Sometimes it’s hearing them look up Scripture together and start talking about what it means. Sometimes it’s seeing them clean up after themselves without being chased down. Sometimes it’s the way they recognize that a moment is holy and choose to be quiet, thoughtful, and present.

And sometimes it’s that look.

That wait... I get it now, look.

Those moments are gold.

Now, to be clear, it’s not all deep reflection and perfect behavior. They’re still preteens. They get loud. They get rowdy. They need redirecting. They test boundaries. That’s part of the package. They’re standing right on the edge between childhood and the next phase of growing up, and that season comes with a lot of energy, emotion, curiosity, awkwardness, and unpredictability.

But that’s exactly why this matters.

Our retreat focuses on communion, which gives the whole weekend a meaningful center. This year, some students were ready to participate in communion with their families at the end of the retreat. Others still had questions and chose not to participate, but instead to observe and keep learning. And honestly, I love that. We are not trying to rush kids into a spiritual moment they do not understand. We want sincere faith. Thoughtful faith. Faith that asks questions and seeks truth.

Leading up to the retreat, our students had been studying Moses and the Israelites in Egypt, Passover, the Tabernacle, and the meaning behind all of it. Then we tied those truths to Jesus and the Last Supper. That is not shallow material. Those are big, rich, layered truths—the kind of things many adults have never really taken the time to connect.

But preteens can.

They can think deeply. They can ask hard questions. They can make meaningful connections. And when they begin to see how the story of the Old Testament points to Jesus, it is exciting in the best possible way. You can almost see the lights come on.

That’s the dream.

That’s why we do the retreat.

Because when the noise fades, Scripture stays open, friendships grow stronger, and kids are given room to ask real questions, God does what only He can do. He meets them in the middle of the fun, the fatigue, the questions, and the quiet. He takes what looks like an ordinary overnight full of sleeping bags, snacks, and laughter—and turns it into something sacred.

And that is why we keep showing up for this age group.

Because preteens are not too young to go deep.

They are ready.

And when we make space for them to lean in, they often do.

With over 30 years in children’s ministry, Amy Bates is all about building teams, growing leaders, and making faith fun for families. She serves as the Children’s Minister at Grace Heartland Church in Elizabethtown, KY, where goldfish crackers are practically a ministry tool—and Monster drinks keep the ideas flowing. When she’s not planning her next big event, you’ll find her road-tripping with her husband to visit their two grown sons scattered across the country.