When in your life have you truly felt seen, valued, loved, and cared for? What difference did that make?

When we experience those feelings, we are often able to trust those around us in deeper and more meaningful ways.

As we minister to children and families, it is essential that we live out the heart of Jesus that we see throughout Scripture. In the Bible, the disciples thought Jesus was too busy with the crowds and began hindering the children from coming to Him. But Jesus responded by saying:

“People were bringing little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them, but the disciples rebuked them. When Jesus saw this, he was indignant. He said to them, ‘Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these.’”
— Mark 10:13–14 (NIV)

Jesus saw children as valuable, important, and worthy of His time, attention, and love. As leaders, we have the incredible opportunity to reflect that same heart to our children and families. Through a warm welcome, a listening ear, encouragement, consistency, prayer, and simply being present, we help children and families know they are seen, valued, loved, and cared for.

When children experience that kind of Christ-centered love and safety, trust begins to grow — and often their hearts become more open to hearing and experiencing the love of Jesus in powerful ways.

So how do we build this into ministry?

First, we must live into this ourselves.

We truly minister from the overflow of what God is doing in our own lives. Before we can effectively pour into children and families, we must first allow the Lord to pour into us.

Are we making it a priority to spend time in God’s Word ourselves?

Are we allowing time through prayer, reading Scripture, worship, and living in authentic Christian community to be spiritually filled and renewed?

Scripture reminds us:

“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
— Nehemiah 8:10

Ministry cannot simply be something we do out of routine, obligation, or exhaustion. Healthy ministry flows from a heart that is continually being transformed and refreshed by Jesus.

We minister from the overflow of what God is doing in our lives. When we are spending time with Him, walking closely with Him, and allowing Him to strengthen and encourage us, that overflow naturally impacts the way we love and serve others.

But if we are not allowing ourselves to be filled first, eventually we will have very little left to give. We cannot continually pour out without also allowing God to refill us spiritually, emotionally, and relationally.

Children and families can often sense when ministry is simply a task versus when it is flowing from genuine joy, peace, and a deep relationship with Christ.

As leaders, we are not going to be perfect — but we do need to remain connected to the One who fills us.

When we are walking closely with Jesus:

• We love people more genuinely
• We listen more patiently
• We serve more joyfully
• We encourage more intentionally
• We reflect the heart of Christ more naturally

Healthy ministry begins with healthy spiritual rhythms.

As we abide in Christ, the love, joy, grace, and compassion we experience from Him begin to overflow into the lives of the children, families, and leaders around us.

As we live into this, we begin sharing it with our:

• Ministry Team
• Children
• Families

We must live into this as soon as individuals enter our presence on-site, but we also must go to where people are in the community throughout the week. Ministry is not only about what happens inside the church walls on Sundays and Wednesdays — it is about intentionally building relationships wherever people are.

As our team begins to see us genuinely live this out, and as we intentionally train and encourage them, they will begin to live into it as well. Over time, this transforms the culture of a ministry.

So, what does this look like practically?

• Pray specifically for children, families, leaders, and ministry spaces to be filled with the Holy Spirit, helping each child and family feel seen, valued, and loved by God and by their church family
• Greet children and families enthusiastically and warmly within the first 30 seconds
• Learn and remember names
• Get on a child’s eye level and engage personally
• Ask about their week, school, activities, and what is happening in their lives
• Smile, listen, and be fully present in conversations
• Follow up when a child or family is absent
• Celebrate milestones, victories, and important moments
• Check in and pray intentionally for and with children and families
• Encourage children with words that build them up
• Help new families feel welcomed and connected
• Look for children who may feel left out and intentionally include them
• Sit with children and talk with them during activities and meals instead of only supervising
• Show consistency — children trust adults who continue showing up
• Join in the fun! Laugh, play games, and be present
• Encourage participation instead of perfection
• Help quieter children feel included and noticed
• Create safe, joyful, Christ-centered environments
• Model kindness, patience, grace, and consistency
• Help every child and family know: “You matter here.”

It is also essential that, as we build relationships with children and families, we do not simply expect them to come to us — we must go to where they are throughout the week.

I have often heard it said:

“People won’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.”

Spend time attending ballgames, activities, school events, graduations, performances, and community gatherings. Let children and families know you would love to support and encourage them outside of church as well.

Showing up at ballgames, school events, community movie nights, and local activities communicates something powerful:

“You matter to us beyond a church service.”

When children and families consistently experience this kind of Christ-centered love, they begin to trust not only the people serving them, but ultimately Jesus — which is our greatest hope, prayer, and desire.

This is how ministry culture changes — one intentional interaction, one relationship, and one Christ-centered moment at a time.

Melia Warren has dedicated almost 20 years to full-time children’s ministry and resides in McMinnville, TN. Her passion lies in working with children and families, sharing Christ's love, and fostering spiritual growth through discipleship. She delights in celebrating God’s work, experiencing profound joy by saying yes to Jesus, and spreading His love. Melia treasures connecting with others and welcomes the opportunity to pray with or for you—reach out to her at melia@fbcmcminnville.com.