My son and I love going to the movies. 2018 was like a dream come true, thanks to MoviePass. Yes, it was a terrible business model, but the $9.99 per month unlimited movie plan allowed us to pack in dozens of movies. Because it was so cheap, we tried out movies we would have usually passed up seeing. One of those movies was the surprise hit, The Greatest Showman.

Musicals aren’t my traditional choice, but I actually loved the movie. It was one of the songs in the film that challenged me in a way I had not expected. Hugh Jackman’s “P.T. Barnum” watches on as an opera singer sings the song “Never Enough.” “All the shine of a thousand spotlights. All the stars we steal from the night sky. Will never be enough, never be enough. Towers of gold are still too little. These hands could hold the world, but it’ll never be enough, never be enough. For me.”

We realize that these lyrics are about Barnum. He’s the guy for whom there is never enough accolade, fame, or riches. Ultimately, that pursuit almost destroys his life. In the final song, “From Now On,” Jackman sings a rousing chorus proclaiming, “And from now on these eyes will not be blinded by the lights.”

How did a movie with Wolverine singing and dancing in a ringmaster’s costume resonate with me so deeply? 2018 was one of the most challenging years I had faced in ministry. It wasn’t because of my church or the leadership. It was me. I was having a serious identity crisis. We had attempted to launch a curriculum company from within the church two years prior. It failed. There were a lot of emotions packed into that two-word sentence. It got to a point where I started to question if my time in ministry was over. I wondered if I had hit the end of the road at nearly 20 years in children’s ministry.

Why did I feel that way? That question takes me back to “The Greatest Showman.” Starting that curriculum company was going to be my way to shine finally. This was my moment to break free from the shadows, burst out of obscurity, and receive the recognition I had always wanted. Finally, I could speak at conferences. I could be the person other ministers sought for help. I could have value. All those aspirations crashed.

I was P.T. Barnum at that moment, searching for the spotlight, reaching for the stars, and grabbing the world with both hands while thinking it would finally be enough. My wife reminded me later that, as the song said, the accolades would never be enough for me. What I achieved wouldn’t matter because I would keep looking for the next best thing. Joy eluded me. She questioned, “When would I stop searching?” It took my dreams dying for me to finally realize that I didn’t need the next thing to find fulfillment. What I needed was to find contentment in my calling.

Maybe you’re in a similar spot. You feel pressure to become a “real” pastor by moving on to the next rung on the ministry ladder. Maybe you look at churches that are larger than yours and think it would be enough if only you had that many children. If you could only be full-time as a children’s pastor, that would be enough. I’ve been there in all three situations. I’ve seen people who have reached for what they thought would be enough and found it wasn’t.

My challenge and encouragement is to find your “enough” in whatever Jesus has called you to do. Obedience is doing exactly what you were called to do, not less and not more. If you’re called to be part-time right now, embrace it and give your best. If you’re in a smaller church, enjoy the blessings there. Don’t be afraid to remain in your KidMin calling long-term. As Paul said in Philippians 4:12-13 (NET), “I have experienced times of need and times of abundance. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of contentment, whether I go satisfied or hungry, have plenty or nothing. 13 I am able to do all things through the one who strengthens me.”

Fast-forward to the present, and I’m blessed to still be at the same church in the same role. But my heart and attitude have entirely changed. The best part is that prior failure was God’s setup for something better as we’ve created a new curriculum that we actually give away. God has continued to open new doors for me. It would never have happened if I hadn’t learned to be content in obeying Jesus. His calling is enough.

Dwayne Riner has been in children’s ministry for over two decades. He serves on the children’s ministry team at The Ark Church in Conroe, TX. Dwayne oversees the development of the curriculum for birth through 5th grade. The Ark Church provides its curriculum to other ministries at no charge through https://lessons.church. Dwayne and his wife, Staci, have been married for 25 years and have two children.
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